untitled

My Dad is one of the smartest people I've ever known.
And That's saying a lot. His profound significance in my life provides insight to the reason of my existence and Being. I have however...most unfortunately.. never quite manifested an ultimately perfect relationship with him. We fight with an inconceivable heat of which later either He or I will establish a certain kind of awkward apology to each other. All probably through the obligation of that father-daughter bond thingy. (jk)
I Do perceive him as a man of unfathomable depth...so what Does that tell me about myself when our opinions collide?
I do respect him, yet I find myself rising above that identification and it implies a disconuity, almost a distortion...in what I myself think. I suppose I should contemplate my part in disintegration of this connection. Perhaps there could be a delusion that underlies and governs whatever I say, think or do that my D recognizes ( in general, but Not specifically) and tries to say, fix it?
I wallow in negativity . Misery? Love it. 8)
Joy and Misery are intrinsically connected.
For what is misery if you have not experienced joy in itself?
And What is joy if you have not experienced misery itself? I do thinks my version fo the Yin and The Yang works pretty darn well. Hardly arguable.
Perhaps I should put this in a more high-school manner for those who find this hard to digest. In terms of money perhaps? Universal, yes? 8)
I'm not being patronizing, if you'd like to think I am though...Go ahead.
Intense joy of a businessman when he strikes a 6 million deal, then loses it to his backstabbing partner. Misery
Alright I Know I can boil up something farrr better but Simplification and going down a peg makes it easier for EVERYONE to understand. Yes? Again...I'm not being patronizing but if you'd like....etc.
Both coincide really. The bright side is that joy is much more appreciated after misery. And that momentary freedom you have from any dreadful burden conscious in you ...is all that essentially matters.
My father talked to me about this very good book. I think all politicians should take a look. No you know what, read the whole bloody thing you dirty dirty unscrupulous lot. 8)
The book implies...Not imposes take note that ' I will be free to let go of my unhapiness the moment I recognize it as unintelligent.
Negativity is not intelligent.
It is always of the Ego.
Ego may be clever but it is not intelligent.
Cleverness pursues its own little aims.
Intelligence sees the larger whole in which all things are connected.
Cleverness is motivated by self-interest, it is short-sighted, short-lived and eventually self-defeating.
Cleverness divides. Intelligence includes.
What are you?
I say I am of Nothingness. That One day, cessation of my existence leading to be like the ashes, the dirt and the air just proves there is futility in labelling myself as such...unless it's gonnabe in a hard cover book where everyone would actually learn something from me...my wins. My losses, my mistakes, successes and what-not. [ Life's Lessons Through The Eyes of *Insert Name*] ick.
D:You are clever and slightly intelligent. What do you say to that?
2 very nice words in a sentence. Thank you?
D: That is Not you. That is the Ego. What do you say?
I have reduced myself to Nothingness...you are still judging that I have Ego?
D: You said Thank you after I addressed you as clever and Intelligent, not recognizing the words as a whole but only as they were, thus giving away who you are.
Checkmate.
Only not.
For how woould I tell D that the sarcasm was not to merely counter All that he said, but as a defense to whatever I already hold strongly to ?
1st conflict ..with many more to come.
I still love him so.